winged orange

Evaluate.

Disclaimer: This is in no way meant to offend anyone for any reason. Just…seriously, these evaluation things? SO FRUSTRATING.

One of my grad assistantships (GAs) for the 2010-2011 academic year was in course evaluations. It was a great GA in the sense that I got a class paid for and didn’t do any work most of the semester…until it was time to evaluate courses. Then it started with a week of frantic copying and envelope stuffing and distributing, so the professors of each of the Grad School of Ed’s 264 courses had evals to distribute at the end of the semester. And then…then you wait.

This GA also involves hauling ALL of those course envelopes home and manually typing in both the numerical ratings and the comments from each individual student that completed an evaluation for each individual course. We will not talk about how fucking LONG this takes, or about how it has to be done over my breaks, or how I also have to work 5 or 6 hours a day from home for my job BEFORE touching these bastards. (We will, however, discuss my complete and utter joy that they will be gone from my life by June and how this particular GA assignment is going to revert back to its original owner, and how joyous that makes me even though I’m going to have to scramble to find a new GA to replace it.)

Sometimes they’re entertaining, like when I get a particularly snarky class full of students who really hated a certain professor. And it’s useful, because I get the chance to see which professors in my program are good professors, which ones make you do busy work, which ones don’t use the textbook, and which ones just flat-out suck. Mostly, though, I find myself shaking my head in disappointment when I see things like…

• “Expected” spelled “a-x-p-e-c-t-i-d”. HOLY COW, REALLY? You. Are. In. GRADUATE. SCHOOL. Therefore, you are either in a Master’s or a PhD program. And you can’t spelled “expected”?! For real? Have you never OPENED a book? How the hell did you get in here?!
• “Effort” spelled “e-f-f-e-r-t”. Again – REALLY?
• Every other person using the word “knowledgeable.” Apparently, it’s the new GSE buzzword, kind of like how everyone says, “Going forward” now because President Obama said it once a million years ago. It’s like someone went, “Pssst! Hey! John! I don’t know what to write for this evaluation. What’d you say?” “I dunno. I just said she was knowledgeable.” “THANKS!” …and on it went.
• Also, I feel like it’s kind of redundant to point out that a professor is knowledgeable. Because if s/he isn’t, s/he REALLY shouldn’t be a professor.
• One last thought from the “knowledgeable” camp – guys. If you’re gonna use it, spell it right. The mangling I’ve seen of this word…I can’t even.
• I see evals written in text speak. “Their R 2 many ppl in this class.” Direct quote. Wish I was kidding.
• People asking for less homework. At least once per course worth of evaluations, I see, “The professor should give less homework.” “Less required reading.” “Workload is too much.” Now, I know and appreciate that there are professors who make you do too much. Repetitive assignments, three papers and a presentation plus two exams, whatever. But if you have a gripe, state it. Don’t just be like, “I came to grad school and have to do WORK and I don’t wanna,” which is how those vague comments make you sound. No sympathy.
• Answers of, “Yes,” and “No.” Now, that’s great for me, because I have to type them up and those are really short words, but the questions are worded as, “If this course is given again, what changes would you recommend?” and “If this course is given again, what would you keep the same?” If I asked someone those questions, worded that way, in conversation, and they just said, “Yes,” I’d look at them like they had three heads. And this boneheadedness is universal. I see it at LEAST once in every course. Even the ones that have two enrolled students.

I’d like to point out that most – not all, but at least 60% – of the spelling errors and text speak come from evals for C&T courss. C&T stands for Curriculum and TEACHING. TEACHING. A lot of these people are actually current teachers returning for their MA or Ed.M. or Ed.S. or PhD. And they think “expected” is spelled with an A and I.

After going through the day’s pile yesterday, I called Scott and told him I was glad we’re smart people. “Why, hon?” “Because these people – the ones who think there’s no ‘o’ in effort – are today’s up-and-coming teachers. These are the people who are going to be teaching our kids. So I’m glad we’re smart enough to be able to undo whatever I have to after the educational system fucks ‘em up.”

Seriously, grad school? Before you admit students who are going to be writing these crappy evaluations? EVALUATE. Please.

/rant

More or less.

My first year of my PhD program is OVER (more or less). I am 1/5 a school psychologist (more or less). It is summertime (more or less).

I add the “more or less” caveat because, while I don’t have class for a while, my summer involves the following things:

• Between 20 and 35 hours a week working as a (paid!) (work-at-home!) research assistant for Fordham until the end of August.
• Typing up course evaluations until mid-June.
• Summer class, starting July 5, on Mondays and Wednesdays.
• Summer grad assistantship, starting on July 6, on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
• Lloyd’s coming for a week in June.
• RUNNING OF THE BRIDES!
• Moving out of the house I’m renting in North Jersey.
• Moving back INTO my parents’ house in South Jersey.
• A lot of commuting, apparently, for the summer class and the GA.
• Scouting for reception sites for the wedding with Scott on weekends.
• House-hunting with Scott so we can move in together this fall.

Right? No rest for the wicked. I took the summer GA on top of everything else, even though it requires two extra days in Manhattan, because it pays for my summer class. That means that I have an extra $3000 in my own pocket that goes towards my Fall tuition, and with my Fall GA plus the money I have saved, I only have to give up about half of my summer earnings to pay for my Fall semester instead of cleaning myself out. I’ve been really lucky in that (knock wood), between savings and working my ass off hustling up extra grad assistantships, I’ve only taken a grand total of $3000 in loans for my doctorate so far. Compare that with the $50,000 I wracked up for my master’s degree, and…yeah. I have two more years of heavy coursework, and if I can make it through with no additional loans, I’ll be in the clear because dissertation and internship years aren’t that expensive. If anyone ever wonders why I’m MIA – this is why. I sell my soul to stay out of debt.

Scott and I also have a lot on our joint plate this summer. We’re going to be scouting out (and hopefully booking) our reception site for the wedding this summer, and…we’re buying a house! Nothing huge, just a townhouse we hope, but…it’s time. We’ve now spent more time living apart than we have living together, and we’re over it. We also realized that we’re going to need a place to live after we’re married and that that would be a lot to add on to my plate the same year as comps and as the actual wedding. Scott’s been fairly successful business-wise, so we have some money towards a down payment and it makes more sense to buy, even with an FHA loan, than to throw away any more money renting. While that means I’m temporarily back with my folks, it’s by no means a permanent move and we’re hoping to be in our own place by the fall, Christmas at the absolute latest.

My favorite part about this arrangement – besides actually living with my fiance again – is that we’re looking for a house with three bedrooms. We need a room, and Scott needs an office, and I want a third bedroom because I don’t want to have to sell the house and move in three years or so when it’s time for a kid. But in the meantime, when there is no kid, it’s a shame to let that room sit. SO I GET A CRAFT ROOM, HOLY COW. I’m painting it bright, obnoxious blue. So excited.

…So, what’s new with you?

Protected: Holy cow, I’m getting married!

Empire State of Mind

Empire State of Mind

Originally uploaded by wingedorange

On Friday, my mom and my aunt came into Manhattan, and I went in a little early to try to pick something for Scott. I was wandering around near Penn Station, looking for B&H Photo, and found the Empire State Building.

My goal in life now that the weather is getting nicer is to spend some of my Fridays (since I don’t have school that day) in the city, checking out some fun spots and then finding a park to study in. So hopefully there will be more fun photos ahead. :) I know I already want to check out the spinning & yarn shop in Brooklyn and spend that day studying in Prospect Park. And there’s a yarn store and a cafe that I want to hit up in the East Village/Alphabet City, and then I can make Tompkins Square Park my park for the day.

I apparently missed registration for the Five Boro Bike tour, which is a bicycle tour that spans, obviously, all five boros of NYC. They close down a bunch of major roads one Sunday in May and you can ride your bike over the Brooklyn Bridge and stuff. I was a little bummed out I missed it. Maybe next year. I just know that there’s a lot of NYC that I haven’t seen and a lot that I missed the last time I was there for grad school. I want to take some time and learn what’s out there.

Random Thursday

I can’t get it together this morning enough to keep a grip on a jug of milk (not even kidding). I don’t trust myself to make fluent links between really disparate thoughts. So…I need a list.

• I’m debating not renewing this domain in the spring. I barely use it. So the question becomes – do I force myself to use it because I’m getting a really great deal on the space and the $20 it costs me per year to maintain this site is really not a big deal, and if I ever want a domain again, the domain name might not be available, AND I’ll be paying more for it? Or do I just let it go? Maybe I need to budget in like an hour a week to post something. I don’t know.
• School is weird this semester. I feel like I have no motivation to do much of anything, which seems to be a general malaise affecting the majority of my cohort. Also I have at least two classes in which I feel I’m not learning much of anything (Experimental Design and Research Sem, I AM LOOKING AT YOU).
• I do, however, have a couple of topics I’m kicking around for my dissertation, which is good, because next semester I start my doctoral residency, which is a fancy word for “year-long research project,” and if I play my cards right, I can use it as a pilot study for my dissertation.
• I really am kind of in love with Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way,” even though it does sound suspiciously like Madonna’s “Express Yourself”. I really just love the tune and it’s good for the gym. If I was still 14 and a high school social pariah, I think I’d have a better appreciation for the message.
• There has been knitting. Finished my roommate’s moose hat, moved on to socks. I am having a torrid, shameless love affair with these socks. I’m okay with it.
• There has been some very loose wedding planning. We have a couple reception halls/ceremony spaces we’re going to visit this summer and hopefully book something before the fall so we’ll actually have a concrete date.
• I’m really bad at this, because mostly my life consists of eating, sleeping, sitting on a bus, standing on a subway, being a grad assistant, attending class, and reading textbooks. There’s very little else that goes on these days.

Commuting

This is what my commute has looked like in the last week. My car conked out, so I had to walk to take the train into/out of Penn Station, instead of driving to take the bus into/out of Port Authority.

1. Track assignments at New York Penn Station
2. NJ transit commuter train
3. Subway signs at Penn Station (I take the 1)
4. Fountain by the 1 train in Penn Station
5. Columbus Circle – my subway stop at Fordham
6. Columbus Circle – the actual circle
7. Globe at the Circle
8. Across the circle
9. My return subway stop for Penn – Downtown 1 train

Mosaic made here.

Tick-Tock, Tick-Tock

I spent today at the hospital because my roommate from college is currently in the process of having a baby (and I am so happy for her and her husband and excited about being a pseudo-aunt!). In general, I feel like there’s been a lot of “baby” around me lately. And in all honesty, it’s been setting off my biological clock. I was told today, in fact, that I’m like the crocodile from Peter Pan: “I can hear your clock ticking from across the room!”

How did this happen to me?! I went, seemingly overnight, from, “We are way too young to be doing this whole ‘having children’ thing!” (which was my gut reaction whenever I found out any of my friends was expecting) to, “OH MY GOD IT IS BABY TIME!” Scott is floored. I think he’s wondering who this pod person is and what she did with his normally logical, level-headed fiancee.

I don’t know if it’s that because I got engaged, which means I’m just getting in domestic mode because I’m trying to plan a wedding, albeit very loosely at this point. Or if it’s because it sort of dawned on recently that I’m going to be 31 when I graduate, and it would be awfully unfortunate to have to almost immediately take time off from a new job for maternity leave, because I don’t want to wait much past 30 to have my first kid, so now I’m sort of getting into baby mode early. I don’t know what it is, but it’s driving me nuts. It’s almost uncomfortable…it’s like when you have a craving for a specific food, but that food is only really available at a certain vacation spot you know you can’t visit for a couple of years. And yet…everyone around you seems to have remembered to bring back some of that food and they can have it NOW, but you have to wait. Unfair. I’m having the baby craving now, but I have to wait, realistically, until at least my fourth year of school when I’m on internship. Which is better than waiting until I’m 31+, but…GAH. BABY. NOW.

I’m gonna go knit a baby hat for my roommate to take the edge off. Tick-tock, tick tock…

Mixed Feelings

It’s almost 2011, and I’m sitting here trying to decide what I want to say about 2010. I have mixed feelings about this year, because maybe more than any other in my recent memory, it was a year of highs and lows. I applied to grad school, which took the better part of the first half of 2010. I had the most challenging year at work I could have imagined. I was rejected from my top choice grad program, but accepted to a doctoral program instead. I had my car towed at least five times. I got fired, which was pretty awful. I had a falling out with a close friend. I saw a couple of friends get married. I moved. I found out some close friends are going to be parents. I went to Disney World, twice. I saw three of my favorite artists live. I finished several knitting projects. Most importantly, I got engaged.

Despite all the good things that happened this year, I can’t help feeling that 2010 wasn’t a complete win, which is possibly because I’m not really proud of a lot of my life right now. I’m currently living off unemployment, because I can’t find a part-time job that works with my schedule. I still don’t live with Scott, and I only see him every two or three weeks. My roommates are nice, and we’re friends, but I feel lonely more often that I expected I would. In general, I just feel really behind my friends who did not go to grad school and who actually have jobs and families.

Then I think of all the good things I have to look forward to. I like grad school, I finished this semester with excellent grades, and finally graduating in a few years is going to be really awesome. Also, did I mention I’m getting married?! Not for another couple of years, but I am getting married, and honestly, having to wait is making me appreciate Scott more instead of just focusing on all the wedding-related stuff. I have some things I’d like to accomplish this year, but I’ll save that for another day. For now, I think it’s enough for me to be grateful for the good things that have happened, to have learned from the bad things, and to look forward to whatever 2011 has in store for me.

Happy New Year! :D

“Square one, my slate is clear…

…it took a world of trouble, it took a world of tears, it took a long time to get back here.” – Tom Petty, “Square One”

So since Brooklyn, it’s been a constant stream of crazy over here. I had job interviews and things in the city, and I finally got a job. I’m working for this writer/teacher/consultant, as kind of an administrative/personal assistant. I’m thrilled to have a job, but she’s driving me a little crazy. In the beginning especially, she micromanaged the HELL out of me.  We had a discussion about how can essentially leave me a list and then leave me alone, and I will let her know if I have questions, and that seems to be working out better. It’s working well enough, in fact, that I felt mostly comfortable selling my soul for six or so extra hours a week so that I can make more money for tuition. Figuratively whorin’ myself out for my degree here, folks.

Mondays and Thursdays are really long days for me. I work from 9 to 12:30 or 1 (in Manhattan, so I’m up by 6:30 and on a bus by 7:45), I work with a professor my assistantship from 2 to 4, and then I have class from 4:50 to 9. Wednesdays are a little better; work 9 to 12:30, assistantship from 1 to 3, then class from 3:15 to 4:30 and OUT. Tuesdays and Fridays I work from 9 until 3 or so, and then I go straight home (unless some awesomeness is happening and I pretend I’m a real person instead of an overworked student and I get to go out for a little bit).

I really like the professor I work with for my assistantship. She’s not in my department; she’s in the Curriculum & Teaching (C&T) department. Right now I’m not doing anything super exciting, just copying and data entry, but I really enjoyed myself today. A lot of what I’m doing reminds me of teaching, which I’m really starting to miss, as warped as that sounds. Also, not gonna lie, I really enjoyed being introduced as a grad assistant and just generally feel like I’m being taken seriously as an academic (I even have a mailbox!), because I have a really hard time taking myself seriously as an academic nine times out of ten. That’s something I need to work on in the next five years.

I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect for my first night of classes, especially because one of my syllabi was 22 (yes. Twenty. Two.) pages long, and because I haven’t been on the learning side of a classroom for three years. I have to say, though, I LOVED IT. LOVED. IT. My professors are laid back and funny, especially Prof. Twenty Two Pages, who is natively Chinese and a freakin’ riot. Part of it is her accent, like when she told us her 1.5% grade bonus for perfect attendance gives us a little “wiggle in the rooms” for grades, but she some of it is genuinely her sense of humor. I was so relieved, because I have her class from 7 to 9 pm, and I was hoping I wasn’t going to be trying not to fall asleep. Unlike in my Monday 7 to 9 stats class, where we spent like two hours talking about the mean. For real? The nice thing about that class is that I can pick and choose my readings, because I’ve done this stuff three times before, so I’m not wasting an hour reading about mean, median, mode, and range. Again. For the fourth time.

I was going to say something witty about the amount of work I have, but since it’s taking me a whopping THIRTEEN DAYS to write this post, it’s fluctuated. I spent the entirety of last weekend (read: two 12-hour days of nothing but reading and note-taking) doing homework because I screwed around the first weekend after classes started and did nothing, so I was playing catch-up. But now I’m caught up and actually a little ahead, so I might be okay until the next big bubble of work comes along. And I’ve noticed that at Fordham they’re big on mentioning something once and then not speaking about it again and then BOOM – it’s due.

For the most part, I’m really happy at school. I’m exhausted, don’t get me wrong. Mondays and Thursdays are sixteen-hour days for me, from when I get up to when I get home. I’ve lost several pounds (woo!) because all I do is run – literally. I run for the bus. I run for the subway. I run twelve blocks downtown when my boss keeps me late at work. And when I’m not running, I walk. I walk close to 25 blocks every day, because I can take it and it saves me money on the subway. But I like it here, I like my program, I like my cohort, I like my roommates. Sometimes I feel a little lonely, especially when I’ve been working or studying for a while and my friends and roommates are out having a good time and being people. But overall, I think I made a good decision, for once. :)

Love Lives Forever

I spent yesterday in Prospect Park in Brooklyn, celebrating Michael Jackson’s birthday at Spike Lee’s party. And it. Was. AWESOME. The atmosphere was TERRIFIC. There were so many people…just…people everywhere. And now that I think about it, I don’t even remember seeing security, except on the path into the park. Everybody was just really respectful and positive and I was really impressed that there wasn’t one little problem in that huge mob of people. This guy even got up on the port-a-potties and danced to Dirty Diana, and no one yelled at him to get down or pulled him off. He just finished out the song and climbed down, no big thing. I was so amazed about that one little thing, just because I think it kind of speaks to the crowd that was there and the spirit of the event.

And it was a great event. There was music and dancing and laughing, and Spike Lee, and free Ben & Jerry’s, and birthday cake. And my personal hero of the day, the icee guy. We won’t talk about how hardcore I stalked the icee guy. But those things were do delicious and refreshing. And it was balls-hot yesterday too, just sayin’.

I had great company, too. I met up with a lot of the girls from twitter/#awesometown, and they were so much fun! We all need to hang out again at some point, guys. Couch is open! Come on down!